tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46992178250979275952024-03-13T00:23:58.777-04:00Law School for DummiesYet another law school blog, following a recent law grad carousing and criticizing just about everything under the sunJustice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.comBlogger107125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-79573248650565303812012-02-01T17:43:00.001-05:002012-02-01T17:45:42.466-05:00David's final social media interraction<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-toOg7FaNzos/TynAQ20FAmI/AAAAAAAAAZ8/6B5RAstT-N8/s1600/FB%2Bfunny.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 372px; height: 281px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-toOg7FaNzos/TynAQ20FAmI/AAAAAAAAAZ8/6B5RAstT-N8/s400/FB%2Bfunny.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704301798865830498" border="0" /></a>Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-87677582892146638552012-01-26T10:46:00.004-05:002012-01-26T10:51:56.773-05:00Don't call it a comeback! (Because maybe I won't actually come back).After scrolling through and deleting over 900 spam comments, the majority of which were written in some sort of Chinaman symbol script (yes, yes--"Asian-American" is the preferred nomenclature, Dude), I have taken the first step towards getting this thing back in action.<br /><br />Against all odds I am still employed, and there have been many other things going on, but I'm going to make an effort to get this thing cranking again (just like I have promised a few times before over the past ~5 years)...<br /><br />Cheerio!Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-15112940298670555042010-02-26T17:37:00.002-05:002010-02-26T17:40:39.194-05:00A little Facebook decorum, please!I should preface this post by assuring you that in the context in which the following FB comment appeared, it was most certainly written in seriousness.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/S4hNmN3w_dI/AAAAAAAAAZg/mAzhf4vJx0Y/s1600-h/FB+fat+ouch.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 384px; height: 299px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/S4hNmN3w_dI/AAAAAAAAAZg/mAzhf4vJx0Y/s400/FB+fat+ouch.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442685468631170514" border="0" /></a>Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-3360992725736215572010-01-29T16:12:00.008-05:002010-01-29T16:45:41.503-05:00With Facebook friends like these...Gosh, Daisy sure seems like a nice girl. Do you---do you think she really likes me?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/S2NQF83Y3pI/AAAAAAAAAZU/PRbh8lG3oLU/s1600-h/FBpornSpam.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 451px; height: 367px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/S2NQF83Y3pI/AAAAAAAAAZU/PRbh8lG3oLU/s400/FBpornSpam.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432273638706962066" border="0" /></a><br />The best part about this is that when I first received the request from this porn spam / identity theft bot, "she" had three friends. When I returned three minutes later to memorialize her for this blog post, she had 11. Of those 11, I'd bet six of these guys knew she was fake but figured "fuck it, at least now I can come back whenever I want and look at this twat shot."<br /><br />By my calculations that leaves five dudes who might really think she's real and that maybe, if they play their cards right, they just might get to dive in... and of those, I'd say at least two pathetic colonoscopy bags who are so blinded by their own deluded self-absorption that they truly believe A) this sluttily appealing, morally bankrupt girl is real; and B) they are just "so money" that of the tens of millions of men on Facebook, she just can't contain her inhibitions and dreams of spreading her legs for THEM.<br /><br />Which makes it all the more hilarious that they might surrender vital personal information in the process.Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-79686226774750244252010-01-22T09:45:00.003-05:002010-01-22T09:50:31.980-05:00Who says the exodus to online journalism is dumbing down newspaper readership?I do. And apparently so does the <span style="font-style: italic;">Atlanta Journal-Constitution</span>:<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/S1m6fQFaBkI/AAAAAAAAAZM/6FLFj_ZMsxc/s1600-h/ajcgame.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 260px; height: 227px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/S1m6fQFaBkI/AAAAAAAAAZM/6FLFj_ZMsxc/s400/ajcgame.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5429575871828198978" border="0" /></a>Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-25705464974038884412010-01-13T12:21:00.006-05:002010-01-13T14:49:42.697-05:00Enjoy the thrilling adventure of escaping slavery--from the comfort of your own living room!Monopoly? Not in this economy. Chutes & Ladders? Pfffft. Behold--Amazon.com has really hit a home run with <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Pressman-Toy-30060-06-Underground-Railroad/dp/B001TEFYYI">this one</a><span style="text-decoration: underline;">!</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.amazon.com/Pressman-Toy-30060-06-Underground-Railroad/dp/B001TEFYYI"><br /><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/S04CRzXK7kI/AAAAAAAAAZE/HuyTEtUv4eU/s400/undergroundrailroad.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5426277105896451650" border="0" /></a><br />Kudos on the artwork too. The black silhouettes (complete with hobo stick) tip-toeing for their lives. Also note the celebratory dance of freedom (or perhaps she's just been shot). And what a raw deal for all those slaves who missed out on what appears to have been the "Caribbean Cruise to Freedom" option. Thanks for nothing, Harriet Tubman!<br /><br />Keep an eye out for other great games from Amazon, including Hungry Hungry Auschwitz Prisoners!<br /><br />Thanks to <a href="http://twitter.com/BlackStatic">Black Static</a> for the heads-up.Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-56140276949107719252010-01-08T18:00:00.002-05:002010-01-08T18:03:42.301-05:00Street sleddingProof that you don't have to be smart to be a lawyer (in case there was ever any doubt):<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IvcWr24im2U&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IvcWr24im2U&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-82613914429053127672010-01-06T16:04:00.006-05:002010-01-06T16:32:59.645-05:00I'm BAAAAAAACK (for better or for worse)Although it is against my better professional judgment to once again take up the reigns of this rambling mess, I feel empty inside without it. Plus, the 120-character Twitter allotment isn't nearly enough room for <a href="http://lawschool4dummies.blogspot.com/search/label/ranting">the daily rants</a> I have in my head.<br /><br />It's been quite a journey <a href="http://lawschool4dummies.blogspot.com/2007/01/registrar-hands-down-stiff-reality.html">since I began this blog in January 2007</a> in an effort to distract myself from the idea of suicide while I waited my first semester law school grades. But, law students everywhere, hear this: consider this proof that you too can get through law school (and maybe even with a decent GPA), graduate, get a job, and study for and pass the bar exam (all at a cost to you of a mere six-figure debt!). And if that doesn't sound like 3+ years of sexy fun, then I just don't know what sexy fun is anymore.<br /><br />Someone recently accused me of being "the grumpiest Facebook status updater ever." I have been called this (and worse) by many people, and not just recently. And I kind of take a shine to it. But whatever the underlying psychological reasons may be, I need an outlet to bash the moronic things I encounter or observe on a daily basis... so let's get to it.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/S0UAajIvwhI/AAAAAAAAAY8/Qg4M6CcksOs/s1600-h/arenas.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 247px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/S0UAajIvwhI/AAAAAAAAAY8/Qg4M6CcksOs/s320/arenas.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5423741782346154514" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/MattStroup">A sportswriter / general shennanigan-haver pal</a> Twittered today regarding the Gilbert Arenas suspension:<br /><br />"<span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Arenas suspended indefinitely. That sound you hear is Earl Boykins crawling out of a duffle </span></span><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">bag."</span></span>Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-46638849174830483402009-02-25T20:43:00.004-05:002009-02-25T20:54:13.252-05:00QuestionHow is it that this blog gets over 100 hits / day yet no longer gets any effin comments? I realize 75% of these hits are from random bozos surfing the web from the far removed third world crannies of the earth, but for shit's sake, a little love every now and then from the rest of you dicksneezes wouldn't hurt. I saw an entry earlier today where some girl blogged about how she tried putting her fucking bangs on the other side of her face, and even she had 7 comments.<br /><br />Even Justices appreciate a little "hey, nice job, fuck your mother" every once in a while. Slut tards.Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-12437278494342752732009-02-25T12:19:00.004-05:002009-02-25T12:24:32.359-05:00The email I've been waiting forI've been sitting around for years waiting for the medical science world to team up with the postal service to provide me with the peace of mind that comes with boner pill confidentiality.<br /><br />Finally--that day has arrived!<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SaV9pV1N7tI/AAAAAAAAAWI/jBLLKepR6ts/s1600-h/boenr+pil-ls.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 393px; height: 57px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SaV9pV1N7tI/AAAAAAAAAWI/jBLLKepR6ts/s400/boenr+pil-ls.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306785885114461906" border="0" /></a>Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-32274375433106813412009-02-16T21:40:00.003-05:002009-02-16T21:43:49.446-05:00Fun with forwardsYou've probably seen these before, but I'll be G.D.'d if they ain't worth another gander.<br /><br />Plus, this way I don't have to spend precious TV watching time thinking up some witty shit to write.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SZokBfgRyeI/AAAAAAAAAVk/WzuPIWdRVxc/s1600-h/myspace.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SZokBfgRyeI/AAAAAAAAAVk/WzuPIWdRVxc/s400/myspace.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303591119237532130" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SZokReQL2GI/AAAAAAAAAVs/YIawTI1DA4U/s1600-h/myspace2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 321px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SZokReQL2GI/AAAAAAAAAVs/YIawTI1DA4U/s400/myspace2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303591393779505250" border="0" /></a>Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-65083620695626578672009-02-02T23:43:00.007-05:002009-02-06T14:44:03.574-05:00New Year's Resolution no. 1: No more chicken blood martinis<span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SYfLrhIVXNI/AAAAAAAAAVA/yxCcroJul6I/s1600-h/salmonella_is_bad.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 124px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SYfLrhIVXNI/AAAAAAAAAVA/yxCcroJul6I/s400/salmonella_is_bad.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298427435112815826" border="0" /></a><br />BEWARE. Apparently salmonella is no longer all fun and games!!! In addition to high fever, muscle cramping, and bloody diarrhea, it also has some <span>negative </span>side effects.Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-45369606312271271292008-11-16T21:38:00.005-05:002008-11-16T22:12:10.778-05:00Living the 3L dreamATTENTION 1Ls--right now you may be freaking the fuck out about exams. That's natural. I'm not here to offer advice right now (although there are several other posts here that deal with that, such as <a href="http://lawschool4dummies.blogspot.com/2008/04/typical-day-in-life-during-law-school.html">this one</a>) but I promise it gets much, much better.<br /><br />Be glad you aren't graduating yet. The legal job market is in shambles right now and by the time you graduate things should be on an upswing (hell--they couldn't possibly get worse). I am living proof that the pressure of law school is virtually nonexistent after year two (and really, after your third semester). Look at my current situation: the MPRE is over (although there's a damn good chance I'll have to retake it in March). My Trial Practice class is over (we won our trial. Bitch.). My Pretrial Practice class is also over. I only have two exams--one on Dec. 9 and one on Dec. 16. So hang in there kids, it all gets better...<br /><br />Of course, then you have entirely new concerns, like getting a job and passing the bar exam. But you have plenty of other things to worry about between now and then.<br /><br />In the meantime, here's a pearl to keep you from completely losing any sense of humor you had before law school. (Pssssst: you'll need to find that sense of humor again for job interviews and summer positions!):<br /><br /><span class="status_body"><a href="http://www.geekologie.com/2008/11/good_idea_man_submits_drawing.php" onmousedown="'UntrustedLink.bootstrap($(this)," target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://www.geekologie.com/2008/11/good_idea_m an_submits_drawing.php</a></span><br /><br /><br />Oh yeah... did I mention I'll be in Costa Rica for Thanksgiving break? YEEKBONE!!!Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-21363235736794998062008-11-03T09:56:00.003-05:002008-11-03T10:00:55.616-05:00Anxiety aboundsTomorrow could (should) be one of the most glorious days in history. I'm poll-watching in a quasi-rural area in a traditionally red state so I'll be up at 5:30am, which I kind of regret already, but I had to so something to be a part of this one.<br /><br />I'll also just be happy to have all this political diarrhea off the airwaves. Cheese and crackers I'm getting sick of this nonsense.<br /><br />CHAAAAAAAAAAAANGE!!!Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com72tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-81203273861261291262008-10-24T03:35:00.003-04:002008-10-24T03:50:45.275-04:00Fuckrockets!!! This is what happens when you have no class on FridayNo Friday class = Thursday nights of drinking.<br /><br />Drinking = drunkeness = hunger, then home.<br /><br />Drunk at Home = corndogs!<br /><br />Unopened corn dog box + butcher knife (recently sharpened)<br /><br /><br /> =<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SQF7DQgMZHI/AAAAAAAAAUg/92WNq8utgUg/s1600-h/BLOOD.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 256px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SQF7DQgMZHI/AAAAAAAAAUg/92WNq8utgUg/s320/BLOOD.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5260621135645271154" border="0" /></a>Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-17215279510728638352008-10-20T00:41:00.003-04:002008-10-20T00:47:15.385-04:00An Enthralling Update!"My friends,"<br /><br />I'm currently dividing my time between class (2-3 per day, none on Fridays), catching up on the entire first 3 seasons of "Heroes," battling my dog for the best spot on the couch, staring at the ceiling in my apartment, drinking beer and gin & tonics, and playing Tiger Woods and Mario Kart on Wii.<br /><br />Also, a little gem to share. In my trial practice class last week, a guy who had his criminal defendant client on direct, and was supposed to be advancing a theory of self-defense, proceeded to ask her "so tell me, then Ms. Williams: what did you then do with the murder weapon?"<br /><br />On a more important note, John McCain and Miss Dumbass are frantically panicking on a sinking ship, and it's beautiful to see this country choosing a leadership duo in Obama / Biden that recognizes it does in fact matter that there are other countries in the world--quite a few of them, in fact--and that it's probably not a bad idea to try to get along with them.Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-17674967648115802002008-10-01T18:57:00.003-04:002008-10-01T19:02:00.139-04:00bleh.I have no excuse. I have an embarrassingly light, easy schedule and (praise Jesus!) a job lined up. I have so much free time it's obscene. In fact, I should really be writing three times as much as I have the past two years. Is it possible that I've become so lazy that I'm actually putting off procrastinating?<br /><br />One thing I do know is that Sarah Palin is so stupid it's scary, and John McCain always looks to me like somebody's drunk, rambling great uncle.Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-22019122888379260002008-08-17T15:49:00.003-04:002008-08-17T15:54:31.117-04:00Yeah, yeah, yeah...I'll be getting revved up again this week. Until then, enjoy <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN0oDnoc3-c">this gem</a> from Flight of the Conchords.Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-33989141484892033772008-07-25T09:26:00.004-04:002008-07-25T09:48:58.337-04:00Fun with Vanity PlatesEveryone knows that "vanity plate people" are a special breed of idiot. It takes an almost unfathomably inflated sense of self-importance for someone to actually put a message about himself on his license plate.<br /><br />The good thing is that a vanity plate also serves as an instant warning that the person behind the wheel has the driving skills of an autistic blindfolded lemur, due largely to the fact that they feel the road is their own personal space and you are merely an unwanted guest there.<br /><br />Driving down the highway the other day, however, I saw one that really twisted my brain. At first glance I thought perhaps it belonged to a female porn star, or maybe just a slut, or perhaps someone who just enjoyed being kind to others. As I drove by, however, I saw that it was a frail Indian kid leaning back in full douche regalia--sunglasses, spiked hair that could pop a volleyball, unbuttoned dress shirt (w/ standard gold chain), and of course, cellphone glued to his face.<br /><br />I promise you I'm not kidding, this is precisely what it said:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SInXRlRJLEI/AAAAAAAAAM0/cWGY2IkAUyQ/s1600-h/ga+lic+plate.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 362px; height: 184px;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SInXRlRJLEI/AAAAAAAAAM0/cWGY2IkAUyQ/s320/ga+lic+plate.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226945539601935426" border="0" /></a><br />Now admittedly, I don't speak Hindi--it's entirely possible that this means "Rich Playa Man" or something equally awesome in Bangalore.<br /><br />Unfortunately for the cool customer showing off this plate, on the streets of America it means you are proudly announcing your desire (or ability) to diddle on the skin flute of every other male driver on the road.Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-58310995927780488622008-07-22T09:40:00.001-04:002008-07-22T09:41:32.480-04:00Obviously this is just a big misunderstanding.<h1><a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/2444863/Batman-actor-Christian-Bale-arrested-over-assault-allegation.html">Batman actor Christian Bale arrested over assault allegation</a></h1>Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-36360083599224273452008-07-22T09:21:00.004-04:002008-07-22T09:30:02.347-04:00This is clearly a lie.<span class="dateline"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:180%;">Report: 'Batman' accused of assaulting mom, sister</span><br /></span></span><p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SIXgaBBr2uI/AAAAAAAAAMU/FgkGX2WqN30/s1600-h/batman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 235px; height: 180px;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SIXgaBBr2uI/AAAAAAAAAMU/FgkGX2WqN30/s320/batman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225829680190053090" border="0" /></a><span class="dateline">LONDON —</span> Batman star Christian Bale was to be questioned by police over allegations he assaulted his mother and sister the night before the European premiere of his film, "The Dark Knight," British media reported Tuesday.</p><p>His mother and sister reportedly complained that the 34-year-old actor assaulted them at a west London hotel on Sunday.</p><p>Britain's Press Association said they made the allegation at a police station in south England on Monday and that the allegation was passed on to Scotland Yard in London. It said questioning was expected Tuesday.</p><p>When asked Tuesday about the news reports, Scotland Yard said it was investigating an allegation referred to it by another police force but refused to say whether the incident involved Bale.</p><p>The Sun newspaper said police did not question Bale on Monday because they did not want to interfere with the premiere.</p><p>Bale's U.S.-based representatives did not immediately return messages seeking comment. Phone calls to Bale's London representative were not unanswered. [were <span style="font-style: italic;">not </span>"unanswered?]<br /></p>Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-1766177492171395372008-07-17T10:31:00.006-04:002008-07-17T10:38:07.115-04:00"It's Friday [the 13th], I'm in Love"I recently saw the Cure. They were sensational of course, but cripes--Robert Smith is not aging well. In fact, he bore a frightening likeness to someone you may recognize:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SH9YcC5ILoI/AAAAAAAAAME/Nqx3QONWMfg/s1600-h/robert+smith+cure.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 278px; height: 275px;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SH9YcC5ILoI/AAAAAAAAAME/Nqx3QONWMfg/s400/robert+smith+cure.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223991331609128578" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SH9YnpsA4ZI/AAAAAAAAAMM/DzYiDpscn3s/s1600-h/michael+myers+halloween.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 187px; height: 293px;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SH9YnpsA4ZI/AAAAAAAAAMM/DzYiDpscn3s/s400/michael+myers+halloween.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223991531001667986" border="0" /></a>Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-5301068012264376822008-07-08T16:32:00.004-04:002008-07-09T17:26:19.084-04:00Easily the Best Summer Associate Perk I've Heard YetHoly shite. As if it weren't enough that these fucks get paid $3k/wk even though they haven't even graduated yet, now there's <a href="http://abovethelaw.com/2008/07/simpson_thacher_batman_movie.php">this</a>.<br /><br />Yes, I'm jealous. Fucking bastards.Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-11646081040865144552008-07-07T12:15:00.006-04:002008-07-17T11:59:57.988-04:00In honor of gay pride week: A Case Study in Gender AmbiguityMan or woman? Methinks I spy the beginnings of a soul patch, but there's no way this is a dude. Then again, it couldn't be a girl. I'm truly at a loss.<br /><br /><a href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SHJBt58_hiI/AAAAAAAAALI/C8d-hT8eUPw/s1600-h/manorwoman.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220307174982387234" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; width: 114px; height: 509px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_o-u3paJDgX0/SHJBt58_hiI/AAAAAAAAALI/C8d-hT8eUPw/s400/manorwoman.JPG" border="0" /></a>Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699217825097927595.post-59940273732958226702008-07-03T11:01:00.006-04:002008-07-03T11:24:42.455-04:00Moron of the Week: Classic eBay DegenerateYou know the grown man who rides your ass when you're going 12 mph over, and then you see him in the rearview mirror flailing his arms, pounding the steering wheel, and screaming? Well I just had a fun exchange with him on eBay. Here's the actual copy of the emails--I shit you not, I did nothing to provoke this maniac--with a few of my own bracketed comments added in.<br /><br />Enjoy!<br /><br />--<br /><br />Hello, I'll meet you and give you $120 cash for the tickets. Let me know if you can't get rid of them. Thanks!<br /><br />-<br /><br />NOT INTERESTED IN MEETING YOU OR ANYONE ELSE. WE DON'T DO OFF-EBAY DEALS, AND WE DON'T ASK FOR BEST OFFERS. APPARENTLY YOU'RE A HALF.COM OR CRAIGSLIST CUSTOMER WITH LITTLE OR NO RESPECT FOR EBAY RULES--NOT TO MENTION, YOUR OFFER OF LESS THAN HALF OF ASKING PRICE, AND NOT EVEN FACE IS A RIDICULOUS JOKE! WE'VE FORWARDED YOUR EMAIL TO EBAY TRUST AND SAFETY DEPARTMENT IN HOPES OF YOU LEARNING A LITTLE OF HOW THE FAR LESS ARROGANT LIVE **[where did "arrogant" even come from??]. YOU'RE IN IT FOR YOU, SO DON'T LIE ABOUT HELPING ANYONE OUT OF THEIR TICKETS [I didn't], YOU SURELY COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT ANYONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF. THE PRICE IS THE SAME FOR EVERYONE, AND IF WE CHOOSE TO GIVE THEM AWAY, IT WILL BE TO CHARITY LIKE WE ALWAYS DO----HEARD OF THAT? (OF COURSE NOT!) QUIT WASTING MY TIME!<br /><br />-<br /><br />Wow... Overreact much? Take a breath and grow up. An ethics lesson from a ticket scalper--now I've seen it all! I would suggest some serious psychological counseling.<br /><br />Don't bother responding, I didn't read the first blabbering novel you sent. Also, your caps button seems to be stuck--but it sure makes you seem tough and scary. I'd wager dollars to doughnuts that you have a "W--still the president" sticker right above the vanity plate on your '94 Camaro.<br /><br />Good luck selling your tickets for twice face value... The show isn't even sold out.<br /><br />--<br /><br />I USE ALL CAPS BECAUSE I'M LEGALLY BLIND [oh, please] AND I CAN ALMOST READ IT---NOW IS THERE SOME REASON WHY EVERYTHING IN YOUR WORLD IS ALL ABOUT YOU? [where does he get this stuff?] WHAT A SELF-DELUDED ARROGANT FUCK YOU ARE! $280 ISN'T WORTH THE BOTHER, AND BOTTOMLINE, IT TRULY WAS MORE THAN YOU COULD AFFORD ANYWAY [wait--which one of us is arrogant again?], AND I ENJOY GIVING TO THE POOR. I DIDN'T OVERREACT [really?], I ONLY RESPONDED TO SOME BEGGING ASS BITCH WITH A TRAILER TRASH OFFER. IT'S THE SHIT LIKE YOU THAT MAKES EBAY A PAIN IN THE ASS FOR THE REST OF US, AND I'LL RESPOND ALL THE FUCK I WANT, GOT ME BITCH? [Complete psychological breakdown in 3... 2... 1...] THE LAST THING IN LIFE YOU WILL EVER BE IS MY SUPERIOR, UNLESS OF COURSE IT'S ANY MORE OF YOUR PSYCHOBABBLE! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU ARE? IF I NEED ANY MORE OF YOUR OPINIONS, I'LL WIPE THEM OUT OF THE CRACK OF MY ASS! WHAT A FUCKING JOKE YOU ARE!...........AND BY THE WAY, IT WAS CONDESCENDING BASTARDS LIKE YOU WHO VOTED W IN TWICE TO BEGIN WITH! NOW IT'S MY TURN TO DISMISS YOU, I'LL BE DELETING WHATEVER SHIT YOU SEND FROM NOW ON, AND ALL YOU EBAY CRAP HAS BEEN BLOCKED AND BARRED FROM THIS AFTERNOON [really?...]. JUST PISS OFF AND GO AWAY!<br /><br />--<br /><br />This is fantastic! Keep it up, my entire office is in hysterics reading these forwards.<br /><br />And speaking of forwarding emails, I think I'll let eBay have a gander at this one. Ticket scalping AND junior high-level profane insults? Saying you aren't too bright would be the understatement of the century.<br /><br />You are a very sad little man and thinking about your life makes me depressed. Unfortunately for our relationship, I have a real job so I'm through responding. I do however encourage you to keep it up on your end as you check every thirty seconds to see if some fool is dumb enough to pay double face value for a show that isn't even sold out.<br /><br />PS. I found a pair of tickets two rows behind yours for $30 each. Have a nice life!<br /><br />--<br /><br />JUST DON'T GET THE LEVEL OF ARROGANCE YOU PROJECT TO OTHERS, DO YOU? BUT I BET ALL THE LAUGHING OFFICE PEERS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT AN ASS YOU ARE! YOU FEEL YOU ARE THE EXCEPTION TO EVERYTHING, YET YOU ARE THE EXCEPTION TO NOTHING ! CONFUSED, CONDESCENDING, ARROGANT, PROBABLY LEXUS DRIVING SELF-CENTERED BASTARD---I REALLY DO FEEL SORRY FOR A SPECK OF A MAN LIKE YOU...PATHETIC REALLY THAT YOU EVEN THINK I'D GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANYTHING YOUR BEGGING ASS HAS TO SAY--I DON'T, YET IT IS YOU WHO BEGS STRANGERS TO PAY FOR YOUR GOOD TIMES--I'M SURE YOUR FAMILY'S PROUD, BUT YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE SOMETHING ELSE, SAD REALLY! AND BY THE WAY, YOUR ASSUMPTIONS ARE IRONICALLY ENTERTAINING, I RETIRED 8 yEARS AGO AND I CAN EASILY BUY AND SELL YOUR ARROGANT ASS LIKE THE POCKET CHANGE YOU ARE-THE MOST COMICAL PART OF THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE----NOW YOU REALLY DO NEED TO PISS OFF AND GO AWAY, YOU HAVE CEASED BEING LOW-BROW ENTERTAINMENT LITTLE BITCH!<br /><br />[Apparently I hadn't actually ceased being low-brow entertainment for him, because I stopped responding, but he kept it up anyway]:<br /><br />AND ONE LAST THING, I'M LEAVING FOR A 10AM TEE-TIME AT [local golf course--I can only imagine the meltdowns this guy must have out there], SO I WON'T BE ABLE TO CLICK EVERY 30 SECONDS TODAY AS YOU SO FALSELY ASSUME, SO GET BACK TO WORK AND SAVE THE DIATRIBE. WE'LL BE LEAVING TOMORROW MORNING FOR WIMBELDON WEEK, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO BANTER ABOUT WITH MY GRANDSON [Sweet Moses, a grandson???] IN MY ABSENCE WHILE YOU'RE STILL AT WORK. YOU SEE, THIS IS JUST A HOBBY [yeah, I hear ticket scalping is really catching on with the retired crowd these days], AND TWICE FACE IS CALLED KEYSTONE IN A RETAIL OPERATION AND IS USUALLY THE DESIRED MARKUP TO ACHIEVE [and with event tickets, it's called "illegal"], AND I AM JUST SO SURE THAT YOUR PLACE OF BUSINESS OPERATES AS A NON-PROFIT ENTITY [what does this even mean?]! AGAIN, WHAT A SCHMUCK YOU ARE! TORREY PINES 2 WEEKS AGO, WIMBELDON THIS WEEK, THE BRITISH OPEN MID JULY, NEED I GO ON, OR DO YOU NEED TO GET BACK TO WORK [the only good point made in four emails]? IF I'M NOT PLAYING GOLF, I'M AT THE BOAT ON THE LAKE OR THE ONE IN KEY WEST [what is this, a Puff Daddy song?], SO WOULD YOU LIKE TO PISS OFF LIKE YOU WERE TOLD NOW [I actually stopped writing after your last email, genius]? AND PLEASE, LET EVERYONE AT THE OFFICE READ THIS, THEY'RE LAUGHING AT YOU, DUMBASS, NOT WITH YOU [I'd hazard a guess that this is not correct]!!!<br /><br />--Justice Moustachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06581817595255906694noreply@blogger.com8