David's final social media interraction

Don't call it a comeback! (Because maybe I won't actually come back).

After scrolling through and deleting over 900 spam comments, the majority of which were written in some sort of Chinaman symbol script (yes, yes--"Asian-American" is the preferred nomenclature, Dude), I have taken the first step towards getting this thing back in action.

Against all odds I am still employed, and there have been many other things going on, but I'm going to make an effort to get this thing cranking again (just like I have promised a few times before over the past ~5 years)...

Cheerio!

A little Facebook decorum, please!

I should preface this post by assuring you that in the context in which the following FB comment appeared, it was most certainly written in seriousness.

With Facebook friends like these...

Gosh, Daisy sure seems like a nice girl. Do you---do you think she really likes me?


The best part about this is that when I first received the request from this porn spam / identity theft bot, "she" had three friends. When I returned three minutes later to memorialize her for this blog post, she had 11. Of those 11, I'd bet six of these guys knew she was fake but figured "fuck it, at least now I can come back whenever I want and look at this twat shot."

By my calculations that leaves five dudes who might really think she's real and that maybe, if they play their cards right, they just might get to dive in... and of those, I'd say at least two pathetic colonoscopy bags who are so blinded by their own deluded self-absorption that they truly believe A) this sluttily appealing, morally bankrupt girl is real; and B) they are just "so money" that of the tens of millions of men on Facebook, she just can't contain her inhibitions and dreams of spreading her legs for THEM.

Which makes it all the more hilarious that they might surrender vital personal information in the process.

Who says the exodus to online journalism is dumbing down newspaper readership?

I do. And apparently so does the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Enjoy the thrilling adventure of escaping slavery--from the comfort of your own living room!

Monopoly? Not in this economy. Chutes & Ladders? Pfffft. Behold--Amazon.com has really hit a home run with this one!

Kudos on the artwork too. The black silhouettes (complete with hobo stick) tip-toeing for their lives. Also note the celebratory dance of freedom (or perhaps she's just been shot). And what a raw deal for all those slaves who missed out on what appears to have been the "Caribbean Cruise to Freedom" option. Thanks for nothing, Harriet Tubman!

Keep an eye out for other great games from Amazon, including Hungry Hungry Auschwitz Prisoners!

Thanks to Black Static for the heads-up.

Street sledding

Proof that you don't have to be smart to be a lawyer (in case there was ever any doubt):