Yeah, yeah, yeah...

I'll be getting revved up again this week. Until then, enjoy this gem from Flight of the Conchords.

Fun with Vanity Plates

Everyone knows that "vanity plate people" are a special breed of idiot. It takes an almost unfathomably inflated sense of self-importance for someone to actually put a message about himself on his license plate.

The good thing is that a vanity plate also serves as an instant warning that the person behind the wheel has the driving skills of an autistic blindfolded lemur, due largely to the fact that they feel the road is their own personal space and you are merely an unwanted guest there.

Driving down the highway the other day, however, I saw one that really twisted my brain. At first glance I thought perhaps it belonged to a female porn star, or maybe just a slut, or perhaps someone who just enjoyed being kind to others. As I drove by, however, I saw that it was a frail Indian kid leaning back in full douche regalia--sunglasses, spiked hair that could pop a volleyball, unbuttoned dress shirt (w/ standard gold chain), and of course, cellphone glued to his face.

I promise you I'm not kidding, this is precisely what it said:


Now admittedly, I don't speak Hindi--it's entirely possible that this means "Rich Playa Man" or something equally awesome in Bangalore.

Unfortunately for the cool customer showing off this plate, on the streets of America it means you are proudly announcing your desire (or ability) to diddle on the skin flute of every other male driver on the road.

Obviously this is just a big misunderstanding.

Batman actor Christian Bale arrested over assault allegation

This is clearly a lie.

Report: 'Batman' accused of assaulting mom, sister

LONDON — Batman star Christian Bale was to be questioned by police over allegations he assaulted his mother and sister the night before the European premiere of his film, "The Dark Knight," British media reported Tuesday.

His mother and sister reportedly complained that the 34-year-old actor assaulted them at a west London hotel on Sunday.

Britain's Press Association said they made the allegation at a police station in south England on Monday and that the allegation was passed on to Scotland Yard in London. It said questioning was expected Tuesday.

When asked Tuesday about the news reports, Scotland Yard said it was investigating an allegation referred to it by another police force but refused to say whether the incident involved Bale.

The Sun newspaper said police did not question Bale on Monday because they did not want to interfere with the premiere.

Bale's U.S.-based representatives did not immediately return messages seeking comment. Phone calls to Bale's London representative were not unanswered. [were not "unanswered?]

"It's Friday [the 13th], I'm in Love"

I recently saw the Cure. They were sensational of course, but cripes--Robert Smith is not aging well. In fact, he bore a frightening likeness to someone you may recognize:

Easily the Best Summer Associate Perk I've Heard Yet

Holy shite. As if it weren't enough that these fucks get paid $3k/wk even though they haven't even graduated yet, now there's this.

Yes, I'm jealous. Fucking bastards.

In honor of gay pride week: A Case Study in Gender Ambiguity

Man or woman? Methinks I spy the beginnings of a soul patch, but there's no way this is a dude. Then again, it couldn't be a girl. I'm truly at a loss.