Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Some limited wisdom for the 1L or law school hopeful
Almost halfway done--woot! Since I'm approaching the midway point, I'll share a few gems I've picked up over the past 16 months.
1. Some professors--not many, but some--are extremely lazy. If you have a hunch about one, it's probably right, and the grades will be given out with no particular rhyme or reason.
2. Cold-sending resumes is a monumental waste of time.
3. Don't ever try to predict your exam grades. You'll get your worst grade on the one you "aced" and your best grade on the one you were sure you failed.
4. Outlining as you go along is far more efficient much less stressful than doing it all at the end, even if you think the latter would be "a great way to review."
5. Anyone who struts out of a four hour exam after two hours has really missed the boat on something. Feel free to snicker when they do.
5 1/2. NEVER leave an exam early. That's superbly retarded. Even if all you can do is go back and reword your answers, why not do it and pick up a few style points? That could be the difference between a B+ and an A-, etc. Plus, it makes you look like a damn fool and you will be ridiculed once you're gone.
6. Exercise whenever possible. Don't be one of the multitudes of people who completely let themselves go in law school. Studying, while necessary, is not a replacement for exercise. Plus it makes your brain and your body feel better and lets you sleep more soundly (not to mention getting all the alcohol out of your pores). If you turn into a lard ass during law school, you think you're gonna have a bunch of time to undo the damage when you start practicing? Hmmmmmmmmm??
7. Study groups can be useful but generally are way overrated. You can find out early what works for you, and it's an important thing to do.
8. Ignore professors who tell you not to do "post mortems" once an exam is over. Talk about it as much as you can--why the hell not (but not with someone who doesn't share your enthusiasm)
9. Guys: don't tell anybody, except your best law school friend, anything you don't want everybody at school to know.
Ladies: don't tell anybody anything you don't want everybody at school to know.
10. Try to be as gossip-free and civil with as many people as you can. You never know when you're going to need a favor from an old classmate sometime down the road, even if it's the geeky doofus who raised his hand every day of your first year.
11. 8 hrs of sleep on a school night is too much. 5 is too little. 6 1/2 is perfect.
12. A lot of people who really, really suck as people will get really high-paying jobs, and as a result they will suck even more. Don't waste your time caring too much about this because it's happened since the beginning of time and there's nothing you can do about it.
13. Your non-law school friends don't care at all about your law school jargon or gripes, and why the hell should they? The more you try to sound lawyerly, the less interest they will have in being around you. Most of them probably have no idea how long law school is, how long you've been there, or how long you have left. To them you're just "in school," just like how to you, they're "doing marketing or something."
14. The amount someone talks in class is 150% unrelated to how good their grades will be. I cannot stress this enough.
14 1/2. If your syllabus says class participation is a factor in the final grade, your professor is lying like a motherfucker.
Please feel free to add any wisdoms I left out.
1. Some professors--not many, but some--are extremely lazy. If you have a hunch about one, it's probably right, and the grades will be given out with no particular rhyme or reason.
2. Cold-sending resumes is a monumental waste of time.
3. Don't ever try to predict your exam grades. You'll get your worst grade on the one you "aced" and your best grade on the one you were sure you failed.
4. Outlining as you go along is far more efficient much less stressful than doing it all at the end, even if you think the latter would be "a great way to review."
5. Anyone who struts out of a four hour exam after two hours has really missed the boat on something. Feel free to snicker when they do.
5 1/2. NEVER leave an exam early. That's superbly retarded. Even if all you can do is go back and reword your answers, why not do it and pick up a few style points? That could be the difference between a B+ and an A-, etc. Plus, it makes you look like a damn fool and you will be ridiculed once you're gone.
6. Exercise whenever possible. Don't be one of the multitudes of people who completely let themselves go in law school. Studying, while necessary, is not a replacement for exercise. Plus it makes your brain and your body feel better and lets you sleep more soundly (not to mention getting all the alcohol out of your pores). If you turn into a lard ass during law school, you think you're gonna have a bunch of time to undo the damage when you start practicing? Hmmmmmmmmm??
7. Study groups can be useful but generally are way overrated. You can find out early what works for you, and it's an important thing to do.
8. Ignore professors who tell you not to do "post mortems" once an exam is over. Talk about it as much as you can--why the hell not (but not with someone who doesn't share your enthusiasm)
9. Guys: don't tell anybody, except your best law school friend, anything you don't want everybody at school to know.
Ladies: don't tell anybody anything you don't want everybody at school to know.
10. Try to be as gossip-free and civil with as many people as you can. You never know when you're going to need a favor from an old classmate sometime down the road, even if it's the geeky doofus who raised his hand every day of your first year.
11. 8 hrs of sleep on a school night is too much. 5 is too little. 6 1/2 is perfect.
12. A lot of people who really, really suck as people will get really high-paying jobs, and as a result they will suck even more. Don't waste your time caring too much about this because it's happened since the beginning of time and there's nothing you can do about it.
13. Your non-law school friends don't care at all about your law school jargon or gripes, and why the hell should they? The more you try to sound lawyerly, the less interest they will have in being around you. Most of them probably have no idea how long law school is, how long you've been there, or how long you have left. To them you're just "in school," just like how to you, they're "doing marketing or something."
14. The amount someone talks in class is 150% unrelated to how good their grades will be. I cannot stress this enough.
14 1/2. If your syllabus says class participation is a factor in the final grade, your professor is lying like a motherfucker.
Please feel free to add any wisdoms I left out.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
THIS JUST IN--
drinking rum and watching football is more fun than studying for finals.
We'll have more news on this breaking story as it develops.
We'll have more news on this breaking story as it develops.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
A limerick from the empty caverns of my mind
Ten days with no classes--gadzooks!
Now the student can make his grades higher;
But instead of outlining and minding the books,
He spent most of it watching The Wire:
Now the student can make his grades higher;
But instead of outlining and minding the books,
He spent most of it watching The Wire:
Saturday, November 10, 2007
American Gangster Punch
This evening Mrs. Moustache and I went out to see the latest picture show, "American Gangster." Since it was a late viewing, we had some time to kill, and as we were passing by the local package store while en route to the cinema house, we hopped in for a package. We settled on Malibu Coconut Rum [hold jokes until the end] since the lady didn't really want to consume a 32 oz. movie theater soft drink filled with bourbon. So the movie was okay--way too long and a bit of a let down when all is said and done--but Denzel and Russell Crowe are good, and T.I. and RZA actually aren't bad either, so it's worth a watch if you have nothing better to do.
Anywho, upon returning back to Moustache Mansion, I found that a few ounces of the effeminate libation remained in the bottle. Figuring I'd partake in a nightcap whilst watching The Departed, I searched the icebox for potential mixers, and developed the following concoction, which proved sensationomenal:
2 oz. Malibu rum
1 oz. Triple sec
1/2 oz. lime juice
1 oz. fruit punch
Combine in shaker w/ ice, pour into glass, add splash of 7Up. Tell friends it's Everclear and juice to avoid ridicule. Delicious! (Even better with Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin's witty exchanges from The Departed).
Anywho, upon returning back to Moustache Mansion, I found that a few ounces of the effeminate libation remained in the bottle. Figuring I'd partake in a nightcap whilst watching The Departed, I searched the icebox for potential mixers, and developed the following concoction, which proved sensationomenal:
2 oz. Malibu rum
1 oz. Triple sec
1/2 oz. lime juice
1 oz. fruit punch
Combine in shaker w/ ice, pour into glass, add splash of 7Up. Tell friends it's Everclear and juice to avoid ridicule. Delicious! (Even better with Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin's witty exchanges from The Departed).
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Aha!
I finally realized today that the whole "thinking like a lawyer" thing is really just law school orientation jargon for "using a balancing test to justify whatever conclusion you want." My first year my head was so focused on getting the issues, facts, and holdings of every case that I failed to recognize--until now--that balancing tests control the world. In just a shade under three semesters too!
Balancing tests are also a great tactic for a court to use when it already knows what it wants to do (because of the majority's own personal beliefs), but can't think of a legitimate legal justification for doing so. Just throw two parts competing interests on the scale, garnish it with two parts policy rationale, and viola--you've just created a legally sound balancing test to suit your desired result! One of my professors accurately calls this process (esp. in the context of S. Ct. constitutional decisions) "balacing your rights away."
In other news, the interview process is winding down, and I've had a decent run of it so far. Nothing in stone for the summer yet, but a couple of promising things on the horizon. And here's a little gem to give hope to some of you fellow non-top 20%-ers... I was talking to a friend the other day who is on law review, and she has not had a single callback, while several other folks not even in the top half have gotten multiple callbacks, and even offers, from some of the same firms with which she interviewed. Exact same thing w/ a dude I also know on LR. Thus, the dictum seems to have a little truth to it--great grades and LR will of course land you more interviews, but once it's interview time, attitude and personality, not grades, win the day.
MORON OF THE WEEK (month?)
Last but not least, there's a grumpy old somewhat obese, bulbous man who I see in the gym every day "walking" around the track. "Good for him," right? Well, maybe, if he didn't move as fast as an inbred paraplegic sloth. But that's not even what bothers me; the real fuck of it is he always has one of those motherfucking wireless cell phone ear pieces in and holds extremely loud, angry sounding conversations during the entire duration of these"workouts." I'm a firm believer in the fact that if you're talking on the phone, you aren't fucking exercising. And while I'm at it, who the hell are you to shoot me dirty looks just for living? I'm not the one making your exercise attmpts completely and utterly futile. Plus I think he's actually getting fatter. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he shows up one of these days with a TV tray strapped around his chest slurping up a can of Crisco.
But I digress...
Balancing tests are also a great tactic for a court to use when it already knows what it wants to do (because of the majority's own personal beliefs), but can't think of a legitimate legal justification for doing so. Just throw two parts competing interests on the scale, garnish it with two parts policy rationale, and viola--you've just created a legally sound balancing test to suit your desired result! One of my professors accurately calls this process (esp. in the context of S. Ct. constitutional decisions) "balacing your rights away."
In other news, the interview process is winding down, and I've had a decent run of it so far. Nothing in stone for the summer yet, but a couple of promising things on the horizon. And here's a little gem to give hope to some of you fellow non-top 20%-ers... I was talking to a friend the other day who is on law review, and she has not had a single callback, while several other folks not even in the top half have gotten multiple callbacks, and even offers, from some of the same firms with which she interviewed. Exact same thing w/ a dude I also know on LR. Thus, the dictum seems to have a little truth to it--great grades and LR will of course land you more interviews, but once it's interview time, attitude and personality, not grades, win the day.
MORON OF THE WEEK (month?)
Last but not least, there's a grumpy old somewhat obese, bulbous man who I see in the gym every day "walking" around the track. "Good for him," right? Well, maybe, if he didn't move as fast as an inbred paraplegic sloth. But that's not even what bothers me; the real fuck of it is he always has one of those motherfucking wireless cell phone ear pieces in and holds extremely loud, angry sounding conversations during the entire duration of these"workouts." I'm a firm believer in the fact that if you're talking on the phone, you aren't fucking exercising. And while I'm at it, who the hell are you to shoot me dirty looks just for living? I'm not the one making your exercise attmpts completely and utterly futile. Plus I think he's actually getting fatter. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he shows up one of these days with a TV tray strapped around his chest slurping up a can of Crisco.
But I digress...
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