Monday, April 30, 2007

A moment of epiphany--I now know why I came to law school*

*this post contains obscenity-laden (e.g. fun) text

My true purpose in life is to find creative and entertaining ways to sue the everloving shit out of the degenerates behind solicitations such as the one that follows. Awaiting a response from a professor to an emailed question regarding the Presidential Removal Power, I checked my inbox and discovered this instead:


From : Elizabeth Davis
Sent : Monday, April 30, 2007 8:07 AM
To : Justice Moustache
Subject : Get20%OffOnHigh-QualityLicensedPharmaceutics.

Dear Justice Moustache,

Did you know you can get name brand pharmaceuticals shipped straight to your door? We even have Ambien, oral Cialis tabs and more! Check out today!


Never one to shy away from cordial electronic mail exchange, I offered a response.

From : Justice Moustache
Sent : Monday, April 30, 2007 11:42 AM
To : Elizabeth Davis
Subject : Re: Get20%OffOnHigh-QualityLicensedPharmaceutics.

Dearest Elizabeth,

Thanks so much for your email! I don't have anything better to do during law school finals than to read computer-generated emails from worthless cunts like yourself. Why don't you peruse the warehouse and buy six vials of morphine on me and inject them into your eyeballs and heart immediately.

Once that's done, go fuck your slut mother in the poop chute with a spiked bat.



1 comment:

Wes said...

"Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays..."