Anatomy of a Nervous Breakdown

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INT. LAW LIBRARY - DAY

Students are busily going about their days, scooting by endless rows of long, tall shelves of important looking leather-bound books as they head to and from class.

SUZIE, a blonde 1L dolled up in trendy wares, sits alone and anxious at a table amidst the shuffle, her eyes wide and tearing, as she stares helplessly into the screen of her laptop.

SUZIE:
(frantically prodding at the keyboard)
OhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGaaaaaaaaahd!!!

SAMMY, a short, skinny, enthusiastic, geeky fellow 1L instantly appears from around the staircase. He's clearly been praying for just this opportunity since orientation... which was only three days ago.

SAMMY:
(rushes to SUZIE's side)
What's wrong Suzie??!

SUZIE:
(still fixed on the screen; now hyperventilating)
I... I can't get my--my... my Torts brief is... G-G-G-GONE!!!

SAMMY:
Oh no, Suzie! Are you sure, let me see if I can--

SUZIE:
(violently slaps SAMMY's hand away)
DON'T TOUCH THAT! (now sobbing and full-on hysterical)

SAMMY:
(hurt, but still hopeful)
Oh, uh, oops. I'm sorry!

(a pause)

While SUZIE throws herself onto her laptop in anguish, SAMMY thinks for a moment, then darts toward the stairwell with astonishing speed and ascends three stairs at a time. Over his shoulder:

Don't worry Suzie!! I'll go get Professor... (trails off)

SUZIE:
(face in hands)
BWWWWWWAAAAAAAAH HUUUH HUUUH HOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!

From a corner table, previously off-screen, a PAIR OF JADED 2Ls has been casually observing the scene. They watch SUZIE sob, and after a few moments:

JADED 2L #1:
Did that just happen?

JADED 2L #2:
Like you fucking care. Let's go to Checkers.