Thursday, August 30, 2007

Morons of the Week: Criss Angel fans


Wow. Just when I thought pro wrestling, the Global Warming Denial Machine, and David Blaine had laid claim to all the gullible people in North America, this knucklehead comes along and usurps the throne. But I can't blame him for making a buck off of the stupidity of others--hell, NASCAR has been doing that for years! My real qualm is with his supporters.

Holy Toledo, he just bit a crowbar in half and levitated in the middle of the street! Amazing! And what's he doing now--oh, my--he's fox-trotting up the side of an office building! How the hell does he do that?? Dude, I think I--yeah...

I'M LIKE TOTALLY MINDFREAKED!!!

The only freaky thing here is that there seems to be a mass following of bafoons who actually buy into this pathetic charade. Newsflash folks, there's nothing Mindfreakish about just plain lying about stuff (trust me, I know--I'm a law student).

The sad reality for these people is that there's a whole lot of mindnumbing and not so much of the mindfreaking going on. This guy wakes up, puts on a black shirt, jewelry and makeup, and stands in front of a camera psyching you out about all this cool shit he's gonna do. The camera stops rolling, he goes home, the editors put in the camera effects, and all of a sudden he's gone from looking like your regular bus station bathroom stall gigolo to Harry fucking Houdini.

The only magical thing about this guy is that he spells his name "Criss" and has yet to get his ass stomped into the intensive care ward. COME ON PEOPLE!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

it sounds like you need to get laid. Mr. angel could probably help you on that front. i hear he recently broke up with a playboy bunny...

Anonymous said...

dont be ridiculous. criss angel is a fucking retard. and every playboy bunny is a fucking retard too. do you think if they were "smart chics" they'd be dressed up suction cup whores sticking to anyone and anything that has a million dollars? cmon. if you use your brain, which criss angel fans dont, you'd see that he's nothing more then a glorified football player, and all those girls who fuck him are the pathetic anorexic cheerleaders searching for popularity and shallow friendships.